I love you, je t’aime, ti amo.. These are just some of the ways in which love is communicated verbally.

How do you communicate I love you? How do you feel most loved? What is it that others, whether it be your partner, family member or friend, do that makes you feel loved deeply? Is it enough to say, “I love you”?

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, noted through his work with couples that there are 5 ways in which we can express our love to each other.

We are all unique beings, as such, we hear, feel, experience and express love in different ways. In this video, I discuss the 5 ways in which we express love.

1. Words of Affirmation

This is about the power of appreciation and showing gratitude. For these individuals, they want to hear, “I love you”, they also want to be recognized for who they are and what they do. To show your love, you can thank them for vacuuming or listening to you vent.

2. Acts of Service

Can putting out the trash and running errands be an expression of love? For some people it most definitely can be. For these individuals, actions speak louder than words. Telling them that you love them everyday may not actually express “I love you” as much as easing the burden of responsibilities for them.

3. Receiving Gifts

This expression of love is not about materialism. The notion of gift giving as a way to communicate “I love you” has been about for centuries. Something in our psyche says, I love this person and want to give them something. What matters most to these individuals is the thoughtfulness and gesture behind/of the gift, and not the cost of the gift.

4. Quality Time

Your full and undivided attention is how these individuals feel loved. Let go of what you are doing and give this person your full attention with eye contact, listen to them and engage in the conversation.

5. Physical Touch

We know the power of physical touch. For some individuals they feel most loved when they are touched. This includes a broad range of touch from holding hands, thoughtful touches on the face, kissing, embracing and intercourse.

Now what?

Ask yourself which one of these five expressions of love makes you feel most loved? I know for me, words of affirmation, is my top one followed by quality time.

Take notice of what others’, such as your partner, family and friends, preferred expression of love is. I recommend having a conversation with them about the preferred expression of love you each have so that you can ensure that you are meeting each other’s needs. This conversation and the new found awareness of how you feel most deeply loved can have a significant impact on your relationship. Your partner may not realize that taking out the trash says “I love you” more than flowers.

I would love to hear which is your preferred expression of love. Please share your comments below.