Do you feel like a fraud? Do you have a nagging fear of being found out as not being as smart or deserving? Are you plagued by the feeling and the worry that the world will see you as incompetent? If you feel like a fraud, you’re not alone. High achievers like Tina Fey, Sheryl Sandberg, and Maya Angelou have all admitted to feeling like an impostor during their life.

Performance anxiety

While we all experience anxiety, worry, and doubt at times, the impostor syndrome can create a cycle of shame and embarrassment, leading to self-defeating thoughts of not feeling adequate, such as “I am not worthy.”

Research has shown that those who suffer from impostor syndrome are typically those who are talented and capable, as opposed to actual frauds. If you feel like an impostor, chances are you’re not. Individuals who feel insecure are more likely to be high achieving since their self-doubt pushes them to work hard. But as you can see, this can be a never-ending cycle, similar to the beliefs, “if I don’t know everything, then I know nothing” or “if I’m not performing at 100% all the time, then I’m incompetent.”

Individuals with an impostor complex typically have internalized messages about their inadequacy or lack of qualifications. They also tend to be perfectionists, as it becomes a way to fight off feelings of shame and failure; they’ll set extremely high standards, which can be difficult to achieve, so they feel disappointed by their accomplishments.

Why do we develop an impostor complex?

Several factors can influence the development of the impostor syndrome, some of which are planted early on in life. Children of an overprotective parent may believe their achievement is due to their parent’s involvement, as opposed to feeling like their success is due to their efforts and talents. This is because an overprotective parent restricts the kinds of experiences that their child is permitted to participate in, and may encourage their child to reflect on them in a less positive way. Overly critical parents may also contribute to the impostor complex since overly critical parents compromise the development of the child’s self-esteem. Subsequently the individual feels that no matter what they do, their accomplishments are never good enough.

Feeling like a fake can also be a rite a passage as you progress in your career. The more you advance, the more self-doubt may grow as you take on additional responsibility. With greater responsibility come increasing costs for failure. As a manager or director, you’ll have more responsibility than an intern, and a mistake can have significant implications for others as well as financially.

Here are 4 tips to help you overcome impostor syndrome:

1. Own your successes. If you feel like a fraud, you likely don’t internalize your achievements. As a result, you may think your successes are due to others or luck. Recognize that your successes are yours, others may have helped you, and while you may want to thank them, also take credit. Acknowledge your successes and give yourself credit and praise.
2. Own your confidence. Confidence does not have to be dependent on your achievements. Can you be confident in the person you are, as opposed to only have confidence when you’re experiencing success? A way to help build your confidence is by being authentic and accepting that you don’t need to know everything.
3. Own your thoughts. Impostor syndrome is a form of self-criticism. Unconsciously, you might be on the look out for finding faults and experience anxiety around performance. Our mind keeps us focused on the negative as a way of keeping us safe. We’re wired to remember the negative, as a result of our evolutionary history, where not remembering an experience with a saber-tooth tiger could have had dangerous consequences. As a result, we tend to dwell on and relive negative experiences. When self-doubt overtakes your thoughts, acknowledge it’s the impostor syndrome and shift you focus on your strengths and your successes.
4. Question your thoughts. Ask yourself whether you set unrealistic expectations, while recognizing that we can be our worst enemy. Are you pushing yourself to unattainable levels of perfectionism? If so, acknowledge what is happening, and give yourself a break.

We all experience self-doubt from time to time, however, your impostor syndrome may be wreaking havoc on your life if it’s holding you back and leaving you feeling anxious and worried. Your past may make you more prone to the fraud complex, so may experiencing success in your career. There’s nothing wrong with feeling this way, but understanding and recognizing these thoughts and where they’re coming from is an important first step. Remember, energy flows where attention goes. Challenge your thoughts so you can change your life and live the one you want.